I spend a lot of my time thinking about many things; about myself, other people, and about life in the bigger scheme of things. Although, perhaps pondering is a better word. Perhaps wondering or day-dreaming?
Anyway, I envy writers with their ability to pour their minds into words. I'm no writer. Still, I can write, so may be I should start writing my minds down, like here in this blog. Now or never, I may not have tomorrow to do this.
I do like drawing; well, I used to. Long time ago, I used to draw every night just before I went to bed, when I was a child. I liked all sorts of papers, used or new, just as long as there's space on it for drawing. Old calendars, even newspapers. I made short comics. I drew cartoons for my friends at school. I enjoyed my drawings. I couldn't care less if other people did. May be that's why I enjoyed it so much.
Now, I rarely draw. Just small doodling sometimes at work during boring meetings. I find it hard to draw. I feel like I'm loosing my creativity. May be I'm loosing my passion? Perhaps I've lost it? My hands could not hold pencil for drawing for long. They hurt a bit after a while.
I remember I used to draw male characters, almost all of the time. Superman, batman, spiderman, you name it. Then one day, I started to draw women. I don't remember exactly when. You may say that's when I started to grow interest in the opposite sex. But, because I drew men all of the time, my women drawings looked a bit masculine.
And I remember my mum used to tell me, that my women need to be a bit more feminine but I didn't believe that. To me, my women drawings were just fine. They had long hairs, curly eye lashes, and wore skirts.
As I grew older, I realized that my women drawings were not so feminine. So I perfected my drawing skill. My women were becoming 'prettier'. My drawing was better, yet as I grew older, I enjoy my drawings less and less.
Sometime I want to go back those days when I enjoy my drawings so much ... but may be this is just a phase I'm going through ...
